After the flowers have died and the casket has been buried there she sits; the widow. At the funeral home there was a line to support her, hugs, talking and people loving her. But now the families have returned to their lives; their work, spouses, children and normal every day routines. But the one left behind, the other half has no way to return to normal. Normal has been destroyed by the death of their other half. Where can she go that she won’t be reminded? What can she experience that she doesn’t want to share with him and yet he is gone. The silence is deafening. Keeping busy during the day almost seems normal but when she returns home it hits all over again. The evenings are long and the nights last forever in that big empty bed. When she awakes groggy from her slumber she forgets and as consciousness sets in she has to relieve the loss once more. She is homesick for him but never able to go back home again.
She must lean on God. She must accept family. She has no choice but to face the pain and adapt to this devastating loss. She must go on. She has to cry those tears, get bogged down in the sadness, and embrace the loss so that she can eventually come out on the other side of living.
We as family and friends must support her. Pray for her. Call her. Send her notes and emails. Take her out to lunch and dinner. Let her talk and deal with the pain. We have to be there for her. We do not want her to do it alone.
When the funeral is over DO NOT leave her alone. Instead love her right through the loss and the pain.